Homophobia is being spit on. I know to always watch out or risk another attack. I know that no one will stand up for me today, that it will just be yesterday all over again. I know that the worst thing to do is speak up. I tried it once: they threw trash instead. So I bite my tongue and hold back the tears. I’ll cry later, after they’ve all gone home, and my mom still hasn’t come to pick me up. I’ll cry in the empty bathroom until she comes; and I’ll go home, fall in my bed, and cry some more. I’ll cry alone as I peel the gum wrappers off of my dress. I’ll cry alone for years because there is no one else to cry alone with.
Homophobia is sexual harassment. It’s the hoots and hollers of a teenage boy prying into my life. I don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me. He just knows I'm a lesbian, and despite all the times he pushes me, tells me I'm going to hell, he thinks it’s kind of hot. So, he asks me everything. He pushes me against a locker in the eighth grade hallway and demands I answer. He makes catcalls and screams all of those damned questions when he follows me to my bus. But I know that he is still better than the demons others face. He’s never tried to fix me, make me like men. I’ve heard stories of lesbians facing terrible things. Coming to school, getting grabbed because some teenage pervert thinks he can fix her. I am just glad that I am not her.
Homophobia is hate-speech. It’s the hate that makes its way into the classroom, until every whispering student seems to say it: faggot, dyke, that’s so gay. Suddenly, I'm no longer a human being. I'm just an object to be described by the hateful masses. I don’t have the right to think for myself because everyone else is already doing that for me: no one will let me fight back. Good people say terrible things too. They get trapped by the meanings they don’t care to hear until they don’t know how to break out. They decide that they won’t. They just look at me and tell me I'm being too sensitive. I can’t even say who I am anymore. They didn’t leave me any words to use.
Homophobia is fear. Waking up in a cold sweat, I can only hope that no one will ever find out. I have to hope that the one person I confided in won’t tell a soul. I have to hope that I can trust someone, and when I find out I can’t, I have to lose my faith in humanity. Homophobia is fearing for my life in a small town, fearing hate crimes that no one will remember. I have been afraid for a long, long time. I can’t do anything to hide the fear. I just cower in the corner of my bedroom and pray that I feel more normal, even just for a second. I pray that there is nothing to fear, but in my heart I know there is.
Homophobia is going to a church that hates “my kind.” I listen to the hate-speech of a sermon from the front pew, wedged between the cold-hearted, well-intentioned parents who brought me. Every time the pastor says how evil gays are, I cringe. I die a little bit inside. I harden my heart so no one can ever hurt I again. I lose a little bit of my humanity. I’ve already lost so much. Every Sunday, like clockwork, I'm wasting away in that front pew. Even when the pastor isn’t hammering self-loathing into my heart, I feel it. I know what he thinks about me. He doesn’t have to say it again for me to wish he would just take it back.
Homophobia is eternal damnation. Some stranger looking me in the eyes and telling me I will go to hell. Tell me God hates me. People have done it before. They say it behind a keyboard or to my face. But mostly they say it with their eyes. I see it. I see the way they look at me. There is a hatred in their eyes without even knowing my name. They don’t look at me often. I'm too sick and immoral for them to look at. They only look at me long enough to remind me that I'm going to hell. They have a look of accomplishment when they tell me my fate, like abusing a little girl will make God love them more. They look like God’s children shouldn’t.
Homophobia is knowing that you’re a second class citizen. The Constitution that says we’re all equal is a lie. We aren’t equal. We aren’t free. I know that it’s not fair or right, but I have to accept it anyway. I’m too young to vote, so I’m too young for anyone to listen to. I have to wait to be a citizen, but I know it might not happen. Sure, the government might say we’re equal, but I’ll never feel it. I remember never feeling equal, and I don’t think I ever will.
Homophobia is a disease that’s a plague on the people our nation. It invades every little corner of their minds until there is only one standard, accepted type. It makes sure that I and people like me will always feel like less. It is a disease that takes thousands to cure. It takes thousands of protesters standing up for their beliefs. It takes thousands of politicians who believe in progress. It takes thousands of people opening up their hearts. It takes people who believe in love, in who they are, in everything they stand for to cure this disease. Everyone has a chance, but most people won’t take it. You have a decision, a hand in my fate as much as I do. Will you be part of the cure?
I agree. I. WOULD. STAND. UP. FOR. ANYONE.
DO?! YOU?! HEAR?! ME?!
again -many thanks for sharing -let's hope for a better future. change takes a lot of time, but it's on its' way
I am proud to say that I believe in God...but I don't spout the bible -- actually, I'm sad to see that a few who call themselves Christians really aren't, and are giving the rest of us who truly "talk the talk by walking the walk" instead of merely talking about it a bad rep. I say, show me the exact book, chapter, and verse where it clearly says, right out there, no ambiguity, that "GOD HATES HOMOSEXUALS/TRANS/BI'S". It doesn't. Religion is a personal thing, subject to individual interpretation...and no matter what side of an argument is given, any one side can find things in the bible that somehow supports their argument -- even if the other side can use that same passage to support the opposition's argument.
Personally, I don't see gays. I don't see blacks, yellows, whites, reds, punks, nerds, or any other "type/kind/race/gender". I see PEOPLE. I see HUMANS. And I see good and bad in ALL types of sentient beings -- and I know that everyone has a right to their own flash of brilliance and stupidity alternatively. Hitler was a human being; so was Mother Theresa. One CHOSE to follow a bad agenda, one CHOSE to follow the personification of good. The sad thing is that stupidity is growing more prevalent as common sense, thinking for oneself, and doing one's own research instead of following "party lines" dies. And to me actions are worth more than labels. I am more likely to be friends without fear of the dirty, homeless man who finds a lost child in the park and takes them to a policeman so they can find their parent than I am to be friends with the clean-cut, affluent person who turns out to be a spouse/child abuser. I am friends with good people of all stripes, but won't tolerate people who look down on others thanks to a label that they feel gives them the right to do so.
You're not a "lesbo" -- you're a human being who happens to BE homosexual -- my friend-"sister" and her wife are too. I don't give a rat's arse -- they are the most wonderful PEOPLE, God-fearing, loving, kind, helpful, and in our community proving that they are not to be feared or looked down on, for this was once a community similar to yours. It is learning and growing, and as people realize that they aren't to be feared but accepted, it grows more welcoming to them. I much prefer the idea of love the person, not what they do, but also the idea of taking that person as they are, warts and all, and accepting them as another child of deity, even if they've been taught they aren't.
Far as I'm concerned, God put all these different kinds of people (color, gender, homosexual, Type A, holier-than-thou, easy-going accept everyone, and all the rest) on Earth so that we here could learn a very important lesson: we are ALL human; we bleed red; we feel, we think, and we cry; and if we can't eventually learn to get along with each other and accept each other as what and who we are, we're going to eventually fall apart and destroy that which we were given to take care of: Earth itself.
May you find your way to the ONE (whatever you personally will call God, Goddess, Deity, or whatever) that decries what your pastor says as not THEIR word of love and tolerance, but the human word of fear, and may that love bless you and give you peace to be who and what you are.
Second, if it's a serious flame, I will ignore it save to use it to cook marshmallows for my S'mores. Which in my opinion is the only good use for a flamer reply.
They strongly suspect I am, they really do. There was also talk among the elders at the Church they said if it was true that I was indeed a homosexual that my father should step down as a pastor. There's not much I can do at this point until I just move out. I don't need to do anything unnecessary and cost my father his job.
If I knew who you are and saw you, I'd give you a hug.
The Gods and Goddesses I know love everyone, so I do too.
Let me just Essay this to you:
The teenage boy who "pried into your life" isn't homophobic. He's a boy in the eighth grade which means he's a horny idiot. Hell, 99% of middle school IS horny idiots who know nothing of how the world works. They think what they've seen in a couple streaming videos of internet porn is real. They think they know what love is. They think they know more than people who have lived twelve, fifteen, twenty years longer than they have. And they think lesbians are amazing, lithe, magical creatures of voracious sexual appetite who might just turn bi for them. They don't know shit.
Homophobia isn't being an unwarrented asshole to somebody just because they're gay; that's bigotry.
And nor is every single negative response towards people of the orientation you encounter bigotry. Take Colton on the current season of Survivor: Blood vs. Water. He's gay, but is that why everyone hates him? No. It is because he's a manipulative, effeminate, venomous, drama-creating, spiteful, hateful little man who incidentally takes it up the butt. Does anyone react the same way towards his partner, who sits on the opposing team and is also gay? No. He's accepted and well-situated. He's part of the majority allianace.
Hatred, like homosexuality, is not a disease. It's a part of humanity. You can't cure it. If they don't hate you because you're gay, they'll hate you because you're fat. If they don't hate you because you're fat, they'll hate you because you're poor. If they don't hate you because you're poor, they'll hate you because you're stupid. And if you're not any of those, they'll hate you for just the opposite.
So cheer up! The world is a giant asshole and as difficult as it may often be, it's up to you to make your own words when they leave you none, fight back whether they let you or not, eat hate-speech for breakfast and shit out the love you demand from others before lunch. Cheerio, my lesbian friend, and God bless!
Wow, thanks for the comment, I'm going to try to respond to all of your points as best I can.
First, I definitely believe that he is homophobic. Merriam-Webster defines homophobia as an "irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals." Yes, he was a horny idiot, but the fact that he specifically targeted lesbians and bisexual girls was bigotry, discrimination, homophobia. He never harassed a girl if he thought she was straight, and he made that very clear.
Next, I completely understand that not every response to gay people is homophobic. I know plenty of straight people that I don't get along with, and I know plenty of gay people that I don't like as well. Everyone is different, and being gay doesn't change that someone is an asshole.
Haters gonna hate, but ignorance still sucks. My comment is over. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Well, here's the thing about the suffix -phobia, though: in every other instance of its use (arachnophobia, xenophobia, technophobia, etc., etc., etc.) its meaning is inherently indicative of a driving motivation of fear. I take issue with the use of the word "homophobia" to discribe this kind of behavior towards gays and lesbians because it implies an inherent fear of homosexuality, which is generally not the driving motivation behind most of the prejudiced behavior for which the label is used; rather, it more closely resembles the bigotry of the people who go "Gahdamn ferners r takd muh jobs fuck em go back t' yer own cuntry niggerjew!"
Since he went after lesbians in particular, rather than averting himself, his motive couldn't be an aversion to or fear of lesbianism. If he was worried you might turn him gay, that would be a different story. But I think including discrimination as a qualifier when the other 529 usages deal strictly with fear is at the very least a departure from validity and at most a clear misuse of the suffix.
So, bigotry? Sure. But homophobia? Nuupe.